Tagged "speech delay"


Socialization at school

Posted by Deborah Grauzam on

peer-group 

Sometimes it is weird how you will look back on certain times in your life and see the struggles you had quite clearly.  But at the time, you are simply so in the moment that you don’t really realize just how tough it was.  I will use the example of how we handled the socialization at school.

When your child has special needs, their road in life is unique.  Filled with milestones that occur on their time frame.  One of the huge milestones in life is the biggest social scene called school, be it preschool or Kindergarten.

Elizabeth, as many know, has Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD and Global Dyspraxia.  Both conditions affect her ability to:

  • Talk,
  • Interact with peers,
  • Be comfortable in public situations.

So, how to begin?

WITH THE TEACHERS

When we entered Elizabeth into her first preschool, we made sure to inform them of her disorders, giving them examples of how Elizabeth might act when overwhelmed or frightened.  But what we did not do was work with Elizabeth on how to act or behave.  I think we were so darned proud of the fact that she was in the preschool and wanted to be there and was happy to be there, that we allowed the teachers and staff to help us learn the ways this thing called preschool worked.  We learned to work with the teachers and truly, the pressure was off here as she was still so young.

We began to see just how social Elizabeth was when she entered her Pre-K program.  Here things got a bit more serious as they did:

  • School work,

  • Gym class,

  • Participated in stations for learning,

  • Prepared them for entry into school.

I think this time was so fun for Elizabeth, she loved being with the other children, but her language held her back a great deal.  It was here that we began to really rely on the teachers to encourage interactions and friendships inside the classroom.  Again, it is important to remember that we told them all about Elizabeth which is something that can never not be done.  But we also found ourselves asking about these buddies and friendships.  It is hard to watch typical interactions taking place around you when your child is not capable of those things.  But I offer out, that sharing your thoughts and feelings with these teachers can help tremendously.

How to continue?

WITH SOCIAL STORIES

We started reading social stories to Elizabeth, started discussing them with Elizabeth. For children with special needs, it is the repetition and frequency of things that helps them process information.  So with that in mind, we read the stories often.

We would at times:

  • Adapt them to her situations at school,

  • Write ones to fit her needs,

  • Write funny ones to help make a point.

These stories are a wonderful springboard for a discussion (be it more one way than two way due to Elizabeth’s speech delays).  But the ideas and thoughts start to flow and that can never be a bad thing.

What to do next?

MEET UP WITH A FRIEND

Sure I could mean you meeting up with a friend to vent, but in this case I mean a friend for your child. J Yes, as much as this may send a cold wash of fear over you to read, it is something that we did at an early time.  It was not easy, it was not relaxing, but Elizabeth was happy to have the time with a friend.  Sometimes it went so well and other times I was hyper-aware of how uncomfortable the whole situation was.

But we tried it again. And we talked about it after the time was done. And we talked some more. All of which helped Elizabeth grow.

How to continue?

TALK, TALK, AND WHEN YOU ARE DONE … TALK MORE

The thing about social stories is that they are neat, tidy and everyone says everything just right. These are helpful and needed stories but I will say from vast personal experience, that never, not one time did something go just like a social story says it would.  There would always be some renegade person who would be in line at the store and instead of saying what the script said they would, they would say how pretty Elizabeth was or ask what grade she was in and then all bets were off as to the responses from there.

So as tough as those early socializations were, we learned that:

  • Talking through the experience helped Elizabeth learn for the next time.

  • Talking through what was good helped reinforce positive thoughts for the next time.

  • Talking through events helped me be able to share my feelings and thoughts with Elizabeth and helped her understand her feelings as well.

Talking, in my opinion (ask my family) has always been a good thing!  Never underestimate the positive things that can come from spending time together talking and sharing.

So how to conclude?

THEY CAN ACHIEVE

Socialization is one of those things that you are part of, that you have grown with, and that you can continue to make gains with.  If you think about it, we are all never done growing in social ways with how we wish to present ourselves in certain situations, when making a presentation or even how to handle a disagreement.  So our children are simply growing as well.  We need to be there to help them take the next step that others take automatically.

  • Use examples of everyday experiences to help them.

  • Encourage expressions of any emotion.

  • Praise them for trying.

  • Encourage them if they fail.

  • Let them know you believe in them, always.

I wish you all some great conversations be them, via communication boards, devices, full of short sentences or long beautiful ones … It all counts and it all matters.

-Michele Gianetti

Michele writes for TalkTools Blog every month about her experience caring for Elizabeth, her daughter with Sensory Processing Disorder and Dyspraxia. Follow her story since the beginning here.

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The Best Gift from Elizabeth

Posted by Deborah Grauzam on

As our journey continued, I was able to revisit the “to do” category of a preschool for Elizabeth.  We initially had tried a preschool in our area that had half typical developing children and half special needs children attending.   We had thought it would be a nice fit for Elizabeth as she would get OT and Speech services as part of her day, some nice socialization and a new experience.  But what we thought would happen and what actually happened were two different things.  Elizabeth started to pick up some behaviors and sounds that we had not seen before.  As this was our first foray into any preschool setting with Elizabeth, we were taken aback.  We came to see that the school did not truly understand how Elizabeth “worked” and as such we knew our time at the preschool had to come to an end.  The whole experience lasted less than three months.  We were quickly learning that our role in helping our child included education of caregivers and new therapists and advocacy.  We were also learning that every twist and turn on this journey was teaching us something….even if we were not in the mood to learn.

This time of Elizabeth’s life, in my mind, is kind of the one that pulls on my heart a bit more.  We really wanted her to have a place to go to be with other children….but we were quick to see that wanting something for Elizabeth and actually finding it are two different things.  We could not simply sign her up for another preschool….this would not be something we could all happily anticipate.  No, with her dyspraxia, speech delay and SPD,  it would be work….we were quickly coming to see that even though we had done so much work with her prior, more awaited us.

We continued to work on Elizabeth’s speech as well as her OT.  We discussed with Mary, that we were going to look for another speech pathologist, one who would work the muscles in Elizabeth’s mouth or a Myofunctional Speech Pathologist.  Mary agreed that this would be a good fit and encouraged us to find her.

This type of speech therapy seemed to be just what we needed next.  We went three times a week to start.  We told the therapist all about Elizabeth’s disorders and she seemed knowledgeable about them and was very willing to try to help Elizabeth.

With much work, think oral stimulation with lemon glycerin swabs, actual physical manipulation of her tongue and lips, many oral exercises to make certain sounds many times. We continued these exercises at home, purchased many glycerin swabs and also the boxer vibrator from TalkTools to help with the oral stimulation of Elizabeth’s mouth and lips. We had new work to do at home but we knew all we did was making progress…and soon I got the best gift from Elizabeth right before Christmas.

The very best day of my life with Elizabeth happened…..syllable by syllable, with the therapist guiding her…  Elizabeth read a sentence from a Dr. Seuss book.   It was AMAZING.  Yes, it was slow.  Yes, it was syllable by syllable.  But it was a sentence.  Our first one…clear and understandable.    I really could not hold back a tear as I held this child on my lap and heard that voice that up until now had been half words, occasionally whole words, when nervous no words…….but was now present and showing us a sentence.

Something else that was wonderful was that this therapist had tested Elizabeth’s responses as we had been going along these few months and shared with me, my second gift, something I had been saying to everyone who worked with Elizabeth.  “Mrs. Gianetti, this child is extremely bright and motivated and she wants desperately to be able to talk.”   It felt wonderful to hear it from someone else and I did not ask her for this information, it was offered to me.

This helped us feel stronger in our advocacy for our child and whatever the next step was on this journey. Sometimes we have to realize, as parents of special needs children, that we need to listen to our heart and to do what feels right for our child.  With that said, we found a wonderful preschool for Elizabeth.  It was run by a friend of a friend.  Elizabeth loved it.  And just like Kathy said, she was so wanting this social outlet. Actually, this is the place she first met her lifelong friend Erica.

I am a firm believer that there is good in every situation in life, that some good comes of all things.  In the case of our first preschool experience, the good of it was that we learned about our need to advocate for our child.  We learned the need for good communication as well as the need for us to fully educate that staff about our daughter.

Well, we did these things and that preschool proved to be a wonderful, happy place for Elizabeth.

I guess you could say we showed Elizabeth the world this year. It definitely took effort and the need for us to regroup and try again.  But ultimately, so much good occurred.  Elizabeth was enjoying life, she made a friend, she had a place to go that was hers and we kept on working hard at home….we even had a first sentence the will always be remembered….yes I would say it was a good year.   The journey continues…..

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-Michele

Michele Gianetti writes for TalkTools Blog every month about her experience caring for Elizabeth, her daughter with Sensory Processing Disorder. Follow her story since the beginning here.

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